Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
