You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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