I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
