so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
