Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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