Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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