you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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