if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
