My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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