Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
