He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
