Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
