My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Pants are for mortals
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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