Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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