dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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