Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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