wake up i wanna do it froggy style
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
