She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
