We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The feeling are messing with the penis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
