Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
