i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
