I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When did angry sex become our thing?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
