she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
