are you still at the devil's house?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up under a house in Key West
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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