I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
