More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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