That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
