I bet he comes in French.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
