I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
