Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
