whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
