Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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