Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
