Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
