I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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