He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
