well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this will be a night to untag.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Randomize
