Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
