She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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