Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
