What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Randomize
