I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
