a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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