i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
