Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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