I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
