but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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