maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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