Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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