you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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