Dual....:-)
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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