halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
