i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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